Loretta Ross the Boss.

Earlier this year, Beyond Tolerance had a woman named Dr. Virginia Mollenkott. To put it simply, her talk changed my life forever. I've never connected to a person like I did with her. She seemed to understand things in my life that I thought absolutely no one else would ever understand. It blew me away, and I found myself crying at the lecture (and, if you know me very well, you'd know that I don't cry in front of people often, if not at all).

After the lecture, I talked to her more and was inspired to look more into her works when I got back to my room. I stumbled across a written interview done of her a few years back. A lot of her answers really spoke to me, especially this one, which has completely changed my outlook on life:

"And she said, “We have to deal with your incest damage.” I said, “Okay, let’s do it now, because I’m miserable anyway. So let’s just do it.” (laughter) And so we did. But she said to me at one point, “You know, Virginia, if somebody shoots you, the first thing you do is not try to understand why they shot you. The first thing you do is get help. So you don’t die.” That was news to me. I mean, now you would think that was just nothing you needed to teach a sixty-four year-old  woman. But I did need to hear it. I did need to hear it. Because that’s my first impulse—to try to understand why it happened. First impulse after I got beaten up by those kids, understand why they beat me. (Pause)  First impulse has got to be some self-defense."

Boom. Amazing, huh?

The reason why I bring Dr. Mollenkott into the conversation is because another recent Beyond Tolerance speaker, Loretta Ross, also changed my life in very similar ways. She talked a lot about her story and how she ended up being, to put it simply, a feminist. She has become so, so successful with her work with the women's movement and abuse hotlines (and etc.), it's amazing.

What amazed me most, though, was her childhood/growing up story. She, at a very young age, was raped and became pregnant with her rapist's baby. She decided to give up the baby for adoption, but the doctors and nurses in the hospital where she gave birth messed up and brought her the baby--she was never supposed to lay eyes on the baby. That moment changed her decision, and she raised her son. It turns out that later on she becomes sterile tragically, so her son was her last child. 

Of course, there were a lot more events and a lot more detail in her story, but that's the gist of it. It hit me emotionally and cried a little. How powerful. And, to top it all off, she told her story with a big smile on her face the entire time. How amazingly brave and courageous.

I hope that one day I too will be able to talk about my stories with a smile and a happiness that they happened, for they have made me a stronger person.

Keep on moving, Virginia and Loretta.